If you’re reading this with a crying baby in one arm and Googling answers with the other, I see you. I’ve been there.

Colic or reflux, whatever label you’ve been given, can turn those early days of parenthood into a blur of sleepless nights, endless tears (theirs and yours), and questions that don’t seem to have clear answers.

It’s hard. Really hard.

Remember, you’re not alone, and there are ways to navigate this challenging phase.

Let’s break it all down—what colic and reflux are, how to tell the difference, and most importantly, how to help your baby (and yourself) through it.

What Are Colic and Reflux? Are They the Same Thing?

Colic and reflux are often confused because they both involve excessive crying and discomfort in babies. But they’re distinct conditions:

Colic: Typically defined as excessive, unexplained crying in an otherwise healthy baby. The "rule of threes" is often used: crying for more than three hours a day, at least three days a week, for more than three weeks. The exact cause of colic is unknown, but it may be related to digestion, overstimulation, or an immature nervous system.
Reflux: Also known as gastroesophageal reflux (GER), this occurs when stomach contents flow back up into the esophagus, causing discomfort. It’s normal for babies to spit up occasionally, but in some cases, reflux becomes problematic (GERD—gastroesophageal reflux disease) and requires medical intervention.

How to Spot the Signs

It’s not always easy to tell whether your baby is dealing with colic, reflux, or both. Here are some common signs to watch for:

Signs of Colic

Intense crying episodes, often in the late afternoon or evening.
Crying that seems inconsolable, no matter what you do.
Clenched fists, arched back, and legs pulled up to their tummy.
Baby appears to be in pain but is otherwise healthy.

Signs of Reflux

Frequent spitting up or vomiting (though not all reflux babies spit up visibly, known as silent reflux).
Irritability during or after feeds.
Arching back or stiffening during feeds.
Coughing, choking, or gagging.
Difficulty sleeping or being laid flat.
Poor weight gain or feeding aversion in severe cases.

Is It Normal? Will It Pass?

Both colic and reflux are common in babies, and in most cases, they’re a phase that will improve with time.

Colic often starts around two weeks old, peaks between 6–8 weeks, and typically resolves by 3–4 months.

Reflux, on the other hand, can linger longer, often easing as your baby starts sitting up and eating solids, usually around 6–12 months. But let’s be real—knowing it’s “just a phase” doesn’t make it feel any easier when you’re in the thick of it.

With my first baby, I remember the sheer exhaustion of trying to navigate those endless nights. Feeding her felt like a marathon. Burping took forever—if it happened at all—and just when I thought I had her settled, I’d lay her down, and the screaming would start all over again. The hours I spent trying to resettle her felt like an eternity.

It was frustrating, disheartening, and absolutely draining.

By the time my second baby came along, I thought I was prepared, but his reflux took it to another level. Not only were we dealing with sleepless nights and constant crying, but he needed medication to manage his symptoms.

Crushing tablets and mixing them into expressed milk became a daily ritual—and one that took a huge toll on me. Expressing milk every day was exhausting, and eventually, I decided to mix his medication with a small amount of formula instead and give it to him as a dreamfeed. It was a tough decision, but it brought me a much-needed sense of relief and made the process more manageable. After a few days on his medication, he was a completely different baby, and I finally felt like we could breathe again.

If you’re in the trenches right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I’ve been there too, and I understand how relentless and overwhelming it can feel. But I also want to give you hope—this phase, as hard as it is, will pass. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and you’re doing an incredible job just by showing up for your baby every day.

In the meantime, there are tools and strategies you can try to help make things a little easier for both you and your baby. From holding techniques and feeding adjustments to leaning on your support system, you’re not without options. You’re not failing—this is tough, but you’re tougher. Hang in there. You’ve got this.

What Can You Do?

I often felt as though there was nothing I could do to help soothe my baby's pain during this time. It was heartbreaking to see them in pain and so difficult to listen to all that screaming when I was exhausted myself.

Here’s where we get practical though. These strategies below can make a real difference when dealing with colic or reflux:

For Colic

Holding Techniques:

Try the "colic carry"—hold your baby face-down along your forearm, with their head near your elbow and their legs straddling your wrist. Apply gentle pressure to their tummy, which can help relieve gas.
Experiment with upright holds against your chest, combined with gentle rocking or bouncing.
Lay your baby across your knees on their tummy and gently rub or pat their back. This can help release trapped air and ease discomfort.

Babywearing:
A baby carrier or wrap can be a lifesaver. Keeping your baby upright against your body often soothes them while allowing you to move around and free up your hands. This can also be great for daytime naps as well (providing you have the energy to be upright).
Movement and White Noise:

Use a rocking chair, swing, or simply sway while holding your baby.
White noise machines, fans, or apps can mimic the sounds of the womb and help calm them.
Taking them for a drive can settle some babies and get them to sleep. The movement and noise from the car can be soothing.

Digestive Comfort:

Gently massage your baby’s tummy in a clockwise motion to ease gas.
Bicycle their legs during nappy changes to help release trapped air.

For Reflux

Feeding Adjustments:

Offer smaller, more frequent feeds.
Keep your baby upright during and after feeds for at least 20–30 minutes. I used to sit in the recliner with my baby sleeping on my chest—it wasn’t perfect, but it gave us both some rest.
Burp your baby often, even if it takes time—trust me, I’ve spent what felt like hours trying to coax a burp out.

Inclined Sleeping (With Caution):

While flat, firm surfaces are recommended for safe sleep, holding your baby upright for a nap (while supervised) can sometimes make a world of difference during the day. Baby wearing can be great for this.

Medication:

If reflux is severe, speak to your pediatrician about medication. While it added complexity to my routine, it was a game-changer for my son, transforming his behavior and bringing much-needed relief. Also, it’s not forever, my son was weaned off it by 10 months old.

Considering Dietary Adjustments

For breastfeeding mums, it’s worth exploring whether certain foods in your diet might be contributing to your baby’s discomfort. Common culprits include dairy, soy, caffeine, or spicy foods. While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, trying an elimination diet under the guidance of a healthcare professional might help.

For formula-fed babies, switching to a hydrolyzed or hypoallergenic formula could make a difference, especially if a milk protein intolerance or sensitivity is suspected. Consult with your pediatrician before making any changes.

Coping as a Parent

Parenting a colic or reflux baby isn’t just about managing their symptoms—it’s about surviving the toll it takes on you. It’s draining, and the emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion can feel relentless.

What Helped Me

Set Realistic Expectations: Accepting that this phase was beyond my control was the first step to finding some peace.
Lean on Support: Reach out to your village. My mum helped me with my first baby for about 5 days straight. She helped with feeds, settled my daughter after nighttime feeds, brought me water, and took over when I needed a break. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from your partner, family, or friends.
Prioritise Rest: Nap when your baby naps. I know, it’s a cliché, but even a 20-minute rest can make a difference.
Talk About It: Sharing how I was feeling with someone who understood was a lifeline. It helped me feel less isolated and reminded me I wasn’t failing—I was just dealing with a tough situation.

Taking a Break: Looking After Yourself

Caring for a baby with colic or reflux can be overwhelming, and it’s okay to admit when you’re at your limit. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your baby is to take a breather. If you’re feeling desperate or at the end of your rope, try these tips:

Ask for Help: If someone you trust is available—a partner, friend, or family member—don’t hesitate to ask them to take over for a while so you can rest or reset.
Safe Place: If you’re alone, it’s okay to put your baby down in their cot, lying on their back, for 10–15 minutes while you take a break. Stepping away to breathe and recharge doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you human. Remember, your baby is safe, and you’ll be better equipped to help them when you’re calmer.

When to Seek Professional Help

While colic and reflux often resolve on their own, you should seek help if:

Your baby isn’t gaining weight or is losing weight.
Reflux symptoms are severe or worsening.
You’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or unable to cope.

This Won’t Last Forever (Even If It Feels Like It Will)

Parenting a baby with colic or reflux is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It tested my patience, resilience, and sanity. But it also taught me to ask for help, to accept that I couldn’t do it all, and to find joy in the small moments—like the rare smile from my baby after a tough day.

If you’re in the thick of it, please know that you’re not failing. You’re showing up for your baby every day, even when it feels impossible—and that’s the very definition of strength.

Have you experienced colic or reflux with your baby? What helped you get through it? Share your story in the comments—it might be exactly what another parent needs to hear. 💛

Colic or Reflux? Understanding, Managing, and Coping