When I think back to the early days of motherhood, one word comes to mind: exhaustion.

The kind of exhaustion that seeps into every part of you—your body, your mind, your emotions. It’s a level of tired I didn’t know existed, and I had no idea how much it would affect me.

If you’re in that space right now, this is for you.

Sleep deprivation wasn’t just a struggle for me—it was brutal. I’d get up to feed my baby in the night, spend what felt like an eternity getting her back down, and then lie in bed, wide awake, counting down the minutes until she’d wake again.

Instead of drifting back to sleep, my mind would race with thoughts of how little rest I was getting, how tired I’d be the next day, and whether I’d be able to cope. It was an awful loop of anxiety and sleeplessness that left me feeling more and more depleted.

Eventually, the constant exhaustion started to take a toll—not just physically but emotionally, too.

I felt like I was failing because I couldn’t even do the most basic thing: sleep. The pressure I put on myself only made things worse.

Looking back, I wish I’d known that there were ways to survive—and even soften—the impact of sleep deprivation.

If this feels like your reality right now, I want you to know two things. First, you’re not alone.

So many mums have felt what you’re feeling.

Second, there are small shifts you can make that will help. They won’t fix the exhaustion overnight, but they can make it more manageable.

1. Reframe Rest vs. Sleep

One of the most helpful mindset shifts I made was learning to see rest as valuable, even when it wasn’t sleep.

I used to get stuck in the cycle of thinking, “If I can’t sleep, what’s the point of lying here?” But rest isn’t pointless.

It gives your body and mind a chance to recover, even if you don’t fall asleep.

I started practicing what I called “resting on purpose.” Instead of lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, I’d close my eyes and remind myself that resting was still helping. I’d think about my body recharging, even if it wasn’t the deep sleep I craved. This small change helped me let go of some of the frustration and pressure I felt when sleep didn’t come.

If you’re struggling to sleep after night feeds, try this: tell yourself that resting—even without sleeping—is enough for now. Move your clock out of sight so you won’t be tempted to count the hours.

It won’t magically make you feel refreshed, but it can take the edge off the exhaustion.

2. Find Energy in Other Places

When I realised sleep wasn’t something I could always control, I started asking myself, “Where else can I get energy from?”

I found that small, intentional actions throughout the day made a difference.

Nutrition: I started seeing food as fuel. A boiled egg, a handful of nuts, or a piece of fruit became quick ways to top up my energy. I’d even joke to myself, “This egg is worth an hour of sleep.”
Fresh Air: A short walk outside—even just stepping onto the deck—helped reset my mind and body. I’d really try to be intentional about this one. I’d take slow deep breaths in the fresh air and really take in my surroundings, listening to the birds, feeling the breeze, whatever it may be.
Movement: Gentle stretches or even a slow-paced yoga flow gave me a surprising boost on days when I felt too tired to do anything. Yes, this one can be hard to get going with but once you do it, you’ll notice that over time it really does help. It’s even something your baby can enjoy with you as they grow.

3. Let Go of Non-Essentials

One of the hardest lessons for me was learning to let go of things that didn’t truly matter.

I had this idea that I should be able to do it all—keep the house tidy, make healthy meals, entertain my baby, and still function as a human being.

Spoiler alert: I couldn’t.

I wish someone had told me it was okay to let the laundry pile up, to eat toast for dinner, and to leave the floor unswept. None of it mattered in the long run.

What mattered was getting through the day in one piece, looking after my baby, and finding moments to care for myself.

When you’re sleep-deprived, your only job is to survive. That’s it. If you can, order your groceries online, and get meals delivered for a while. The rest can wait.

4. Break the Anxiety Loop

The anxiety I felt at night was one of the hardest parts of sleep deprivation. I’d lie awake, worrying about how tired I’d be the next day, which only made it harder to sleep. It was a vicious cycle.

One thing that helped me was writing down my worries before bed. I’d keep a notebook by the bed and jot down anything on my mind. Just getting it out onto paper helped clear my head enough to settle.

I also started practicing slow, deep breathing when I couldn’t sleep.

Inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for six counts.

It sounds so simple, but focusing on my breath gave my anxious thoughts less room to spiral.

If the anxiety feels unmanageable, it’s okay to ask for help. Talking to a professional—whether it’s a therapist, counselor, or even your GP—can make a world of difference. Sleep deprivation is hard enough without battling anxiety on your own.

5. Find Small Moments of Gratitude

When you’re truly exhausted, finding something to be grateful for can feel like a stretch. I get it—when you’re sleep-deprived and overwhelmed, it’s hard to see the good through the fog.

Gratitude doesn’t have to be big or profound to make an impact though. It can be as simple as noticing one tiny thing that lifted your spirits that day. Maybe it’s the way your baby’s fingers curl around yours, the warmth of a hot cup of tea, or even just the fact that you made it through another feed.

These small moments of gratitude don’t erase the hard parts, but they can create little sparks of light that keep you going.

Something that helped me was a daily mental gratitude check.

At night I’d ask myself, “What’s one thing I appreciated today?” Some days, the answer was something small, like the sun shining through the window. Other days, it was the sweet sound of my baby’s giggle or the relief of my partner coming home. Those little moments added up and helped balance out the weight of the hard days.

6. It Won’t Always Be Like This

When you’re in the thick of sleepless nights and endless exhaustion, it can feel like this stage will stretch on forever.

The days blur into nights, and you wonder if you’ll ever feel rested—or even human—again.

But one thing I can promise you is this: it won’t always be like this.

Babies grow and change so quickly. Sleep patterns shift, routines evolve, and one day, you’ll notice a tiny bit of breathing room where there wasn’t any before.

It won’t happen overnight, and it might not feel obvious at first. But gradually, things will get easier. You might not see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, and that’s okay.

In the hardest moments, try to remind yourself that this stage is temporary. It doesn’t make the exhaustion any less real, but it can give you a thread of hope to hold onto.

Each day, you’re moving closer to a time when this chapter will be behind you. When you look back on this season, you won’t just remember the exhaustion—you’ll remember your strength.

You’ll see the love, resilience, and effort you poured into getting through it, even when it felt impossible.

You’re doing more than you realise, and you’ll come out the other side stronger than you ever thought you could be.

Just One Moment At A Time

If you’re reading this and feeling overwhelmed, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Sleep deprivation is brutal, but you’re getting through it—one moment, one feed, one breath at a time.

Let go of the pressure to do it all. Focus on the essentials: looking after your baby and finding ways to care for yourself. Rest when you can, fuel your body, and know that you’re enough, just as you are.

This is hard, but you’re doing it. And that’s something to be proud of. 💛

All my love,

Bel x

Surviving Sleep Deprivation: Tips That Actually Help